Remembering God's Faithfulness and Trusting Him With My Dreams

Romans 8:32 - "He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"

Psalm 37:4 - “Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

As I look back on my life, I realize how good and faithful God has been to me. These verses remind me that if God did not spare His own Son but gave Him for us, I can trust him with every desire, dream, and concern in my heart.

1. Recall How God Has Been Good to Me

God has indeed been good to me. In my 76 years of life, I have experienced both joys and difficulties, but through everything, God has remained faithful.

As a child, I was very shy. My father noticed this and would ask me to memorize poems and recite them whenever we had visitors at home. He did this because he wanted me to overcome my shyness. Looking back, I can see how God used even my father's simple efforts to help develop my confidence.

In high school, I won a Tagalog declamation contest. In college, I was blessed to receive a scholarship for four semesters. I do not consider myself exceptionally intelligent, but I was a diligent student, and God enabled me to work hard and receive good grades.

After college, however, I experienced a very difficult season in my first regular job. My boss was a bully who would shout at me in front of my officemates and make me feel foolish and worthless. Because I was timid and did not know how to respond immediately when people criticized me, others sometimes mistook my quietness for weakness or lack of ability.

When I got married, I hoped that my husband would help me overcome my weaknesses, but instead, he often criticized me. His drinking and gambling became serious problems. He eventually lost his job and our family went through a very desperate period. We even had to put our house up for sale and moved from one house to another several times.

But God did not abandon us. After about two decades, his gambling problem finally ended. God also provided a kind and supportive boss who required us to work overtime and through hard work and God's grace, I was eventually promoted from Salary Grade 14 to a position with Salary Grade 22. This enabled us to return to our own home.

When I look back, I can truly say God has been faithful to me. He rescued me through difficult circumstances and provided for my family when I could not see a way out.

God has also blessed me with daughters who are kind and loving, and with sons-in-law who are responsible and love God. He has given me a smart, intelligent and helpful grandson, as well as a smart and pretty granddaughter. These are precious gifts from Him.

2. Receive My Desires and Dreams

As I reflect on the desires of my heart, I realize that some of them have changed with the passing of time. One of my desires was for Gilbert to be healed from schizophrenia. He has lived with this condition since he was 26 years old. For many years, I hoped and prayed for his healing. Although I have come to accept that healing may not happen in the way I once hoped, I continue to entrust him to God. I know that God loves him even more than I do, and I can trust Him with Gilbert's life.

Another deep desire of my heart is for my husband to truly know the Lord and have genuine salvation. In June 1983, he professed to accept the Lord Jesus as his Savior. I was so happy and excited that I immediately told my siblings, and they were also very happy. However, circumstances that happened afterward caused me to have doubts about whether his profession of faith was genuine.

I continue to carry this desire in my heart. I cannot know what is truly in another person's heart because salvation belongs to God. Therefore, rather than trying to control the outcome, I can continue to pray, love him and trust God to work in his life.

Psalm 37:4 reminds me that as I delight myself in the Lord, He shapes the desires of my heart, according to His will. My greatest desire should therefore be not simply to have my prayers answered but to trust God and desire what is pleasing to Him.

3. Record My Goals

When I write down my goals, I want to make them SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound. However, I also recognize that some things are ultimately in God's hands and cannot be controlled or measured by me.

Goal: My husband’s Salvation

Specific: Pray regularly for my husband’s salvation and spiritual life, asking God to draw him to Himself and give him a genuine understanding of the Gospel.

Measurable: Pray for him consistently and intentionally and look for opportunities to show God's love through my words, actions and testimony.

Attainable and Realistic: I cannot save my husband, change his heart, or determine whether his profession of faith is genuine. My responsibility is to pray, love, encourage, and faithfully and entrust him to God.

Time-bound: Commit to praying for him faithfully throughout this year and continue doing so for as long as God gives me the opportunity.

Ultimately, I leave the result and the timing in God's hands. I may not know how He will answer this prayer, but I know that He is good, loving, and faithful.

As I look back on my life, I see that God has never abandoned me. He has carried me through my weaknesses, disappointments, family struggles, financial difficulties, and seasons, when I felt helpless. He has provided for me, protected me, and blessed me far beyond what I deserved.

Therefore I can confidently place my remaining dreams and desires in His hands. If God gave His own Son for me, surely I can trust Him with everything else. My responsibility is to delight myself in Him, remain faithful, pray without ceasing, and leave the answers to His perfect wisdom and timing.

God has been faithful in the past, He is faithful today, and I can trust Him with my future.