Missing my brother Dave

I love my brother Bebet.

This past week, I remembered my video calls with Bebet.  Dave to you, was Bebet to us his siblings.

Bebet would often video call me, anytime he wanted to talk to me.  We would talk about our childhood memories; we would talk about the houses where we used to live in Cebu City, and many other details about many trivial things during our younger years.  He would also tell me about his work while he was in America from  the late 1980s up to 1998.    

Even though Bebet had been in America for many years, he was still updated on the news about politics not only in America, but also on the happenings in the Philippines.  He used to talk about Trump and Biden, about Duterte, Isko Moreno, about the past martial law in the Philippines, about BBM, and lately, about Raffy Tulfo, and about many other things that were happening in America and in the Philippines.  In fact, he was more updated than me, about American as well as Philippine politics.

Bebet was very good in the game of chess.  It was Papa who taught him when he was still in elementary.  In Cosmos Bottling Company, where he used to work, none of his co-workers could ever beat him in this game.  He became the grand champion when the company had a chess tournament.

Sobrang sipag si Bebet.  He was quite independent.  Even though it was not good for him to be doing certain things because he was already sick and weak, still he would insist on doing it.  He would often say that he could still do it.  My efforts in telling him to go slow and take care of his health would fall on deaf ears. 

Just like Mama, Bebet wanted for us siblings to be united in love for one another.  When Mama was still with us, she used to tell us to help one another:  ang sabi ni Mama, kung sinuman sa aming magkakapatid ang may kakayahang tumulong, let him or her, help the one who needed help. 

This morning, in my quiet time, Ephesians 4:32 was the verse:  And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

The good thing about Bebet was that he never held grudges against anyone.  He may not agree with what other people were doing, but definitely he never held grudges. 

Although Bebet and I had different opinions about some important matters, we didn’t quarrel.  It’s a good thing we didn’t hold grudges against each other.  Even though my siblings and I have some differences in opinion, that would never make us stop loving one another.  We are blood brothers and sisters.   

Our family of origin, that is, the De Jesus-Dela Cruz family – our departed Papa and Mama, and us siblings did not usually express our love for one another verbally.  We are not used to saying the words “I love you”.  We express our love for one another by doing things for one another.

Bebet’s love language was service.  He enjoyed doing things for family and friends.   Sometime in 1977, the eldest child of Pet who was only about one year old at that time, was very sick and had diarrhea.  Bebet did not hesitate to help Pet.  He collected all the soiled beddings and washed them. 

In 1987, Papa who was based in Cebu City, visited us in Kingsville.   I remember Bebet squatting on the floor while removing Papa’s shoes at saka niya pinasuot ng tsinelas si Papa.   

The last time Bebet called was on Monday, April 17, 2023, 8 am, Philippine time.  He told me that he was rushed to the hospital the day before because he had difficulty breathing and his hemoglobin was very low.  He also mentioned that he was told that that was the last time that he would be confined.  Sabi niya, the next time that he would be taken to the hospital, he would no longer be confined.  He would just be given injection, or something to treat him, and he would be sent home.  I did not have an inkling that that was the last time I would talk to him, because masigla pa siya at malakas pa ang boses niya.  It was evident in his voice that he was happy and was looking forward to the arrival of Esther in America.  That video call lasted exactly 58 minutes.

I won’t deny that I am grieving because Bebet had left us, but I am comforted that he is now in the presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and is free from pain.

The two Bible verses that give me comfort are:

Psalm 116:15 – Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.

2 Corinthians 5:8 - We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.