Musings about my life

Here I am again, sitting in front of the computer, trying to collect my thoughts. Yesterday, it dawned on me, as I was not busy, I tried to think about my purpose in life. 

I will be 63 in three weeks’ time. What have I accomplished? And is there anything more that I need to do?

Well, I don’t think I have not accomplished anything in my life. I have two daughters, and with God’s grace, I have sent them to college and they had finished their courses, the eldest had finished 2 courses: first as a Bachelor of Science in Commerce, major in Business Administration, and then later, a teaching course. The youngest graduated Bachelor of Science in Business Administration, major in Management. Not bad, isn’t it?

Also, I brought them to church when they were very young, so that they will not go astray as some young people are wont to do, I encouraged them to regularly attend young people’s fellowship in church. It’s good the results were good. They met their future husbands in church who are dedicated Christians. And now that they are married, their husbands are their best friends!!! Isn’t that great?

Now that I have retired from my job for almost 3 years, and am just enjoying myself - for the second time staying for half a year in a country blessed by God, but taken for granted by its citizens, (the U.S.), and visiting for a short time another country (Canada) which I thought that I would never see, what else do I need to do? What else does God want me to do?

Last year in the Philippines, I took a test in the internet. It was about the 7 deadly sins - lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, anger, envy and pride. The result said that I am a less sinner than most. However, my deadly sin is pride. 

However, nowhere in the Bible are they called deadly sins and nowhere in the scriptures are they compiled into one list. The “7 deadly sins” came from a pope named Pope Gregory I, who in 600 A.D., compiled a list of 7 biblical sins and called them deadly.  However, according to the Bible all sin is deadly, and unless we repent, we will go to hell.

Going back to the result of the test.  Pride?  Am I really proud?

Thinking deeply, I must admit, yes, that must be my number one sin. The deadly sins as what the test said are: lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, anger, envy and pride. The antidotes in parallel order are: chastity, self-control, generosity, diligence, patience, contentment and humility.

Am I really proud? Maybe so. I must have been proud that in spite of all the financial, emotional turbulence that happened in my family, still I was able to save myself and my family from disaster. My very close friends even told me that they really think that I am strong, having survived those very painful, troubled years.

Strong?  Am I strong? Definitely not. When I think of all the turbulent years that my family and I had gone through, I remember myself breaking down, crying out my heart, crying out to God. Yes, crying out to God. Yes, I CRIED OUT TO GOD. I cried, “GOD, PLEASE HELP! HIRAP NA HIRAP NA AKO!!! I even thought of ending my life so that I could rest. But how about my children? They were still young. They were still going to school.

At the time that I thought it was the end, God rescued me from my misery. No, my dear friends, I was not strong. It is my God who is strong and helped me in every area of my life. God is so good, He rescued us. He gave us more than what we had before the problems happened. PRAISE GOD!!!

Going back to the subject of pride. Years after God rescued my family, I became complacent. Life was smooth sailing. We went back to our own house, my daughters were in college, then graduated, and my job was a blessing. God brought to my life people who became instruments of God’s blessings. I know everything that I am now enjoying is because of God’s blessings. Just the realization of that should make me humble. It should make me thankful because it was God who made that happen. Please forgive me, dear God.

So, why is it that I am still here? Why am I still alive? Have I not served my purpose?

The Bible says that God created each one of us for five purposes.

1. We must center our lives around God.  We must worship God.

2 We must learn to love God's family, that is we must fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

3. We must cultivate spiritual maturity.  Discipleship is the process of learning to love and follow Jesus and becoming more like Him in our attitudes and actions.

4. Contributing something back which is ministry. Cultivating spiritual maturity (discipleship).

5.  Telling others about God's love, which is evangelism.  

By doing all five, we will build the foundation for a successful and satisfying life while still here on earth, while waiting for my turn to go home to my Lord when my time comes.

Dear God, I know that without you, I am nothing.  And that without you, I am helpless in doing the things that will make me the person you have purposed for me to be.  You are my God, my Savior, my Provider, my Protector.  You are my All.